Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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