He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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