Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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