She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
did i just pee glitter
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
