His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
