Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
