she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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