The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
