Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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