I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
