ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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