I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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