2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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