you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
