i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
