Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
