i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
