Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
