he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
