Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
