The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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