Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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