Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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