but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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