He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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