Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
