her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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