The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
