I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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