that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
