So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
