you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
