You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
