please come you make the beer taste better
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
