Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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