I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
