I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
