friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
