I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
