I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
