...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
