How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
