so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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