I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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