she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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