why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
