Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
