he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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