on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
