hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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