What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
