I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
