I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
